I know this show is called The Valley, but emotionally I’m in a trench.
Let’s start with the creepiest thing Bravo has aired since Scandoval: Jesse’s life coach, Scott. Is he part of some underground Reddit thread that sells crystal necklaces and anger issues? I don’t know what that man is coaching, but it’s not sanity. Every word out of his mouth made me want to delete my TV subscription.
And of course, he tells Jesse that Michelle is part of the problem. Which is wild because Jesse has been consistently unhinged, manipulative, and called his wife a “hooker” on camera. Scott talks like he’s one vape hit away from starting a podcast called “Alpha Hour.” What Michelle did or didn’t do is nowhere near the level of trash Jesse brings to this show every week. He has me screaming in my own pillow!
Meanwhile, we got a Scheana Shay cameo, and listen, I love a fun Scheana moment when it’s earned, but this one? She showed up for a hike in giant sunglasses, nodded, giggled once, and dipped. It felt more like product placement than personality. I expected more from our queen of “It’s all happening.”
Now let’s talk about Danny and Nia. Everyone’s mad that Nia said Danny was “asleep” and not “drunk” during the Santa Barbara trip. But you know what? She’s not wrong for trying to protect her husband in front of a bunch of cameras. The fight wasn’t even about the lie, it was about who gets to control the narrative. Brittany’s mad because her mess is front and center, while Nia tried to edit hers out. And honestly? That’s the only smart PR move anyone on this show has made.
Oh, and let’s give Luke his flowers. Somehow, this man has become the heart of the show and gives us the only male energy that doesn’t reek of tequila. I did not expect to stan, but here I am.
But the emotional weight of the episode belongs to Nia. Her backstory hit me like a truck. From being unhoused with her mom to sleeping in her car outside work, she’s the definition of resilience. Her positivity isn’t fake, it’s definitely earned. And while Danny might not deserve all that grace, it’s clear she’s choosing to fight for her version of peace, even if it’s messy.
The episode closes on a group pinky-swear (yes, we’re back in middle school), and Nia returns to her chaotic home, clinging to gratitude like it’s oxygen. It’s painful, but also kind of beautiful, because even though she may be in the thick of it, she’s still thankful.
🎬 Final Thoughts
This show is emotionally exhausting. Jesse continues to be the worst, Scheana’s cameo was about as necessary as a third round of shots in Santa Barbara, and Luke’s abs are now the only reason I’m tuning in next wekk. Until next week… or until The Valley inevitably drives me to drink….even more.
Don’t forget to comment your thoughts below! 👇
Lexi đź’…
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3 Responses
this cast is a straight mess, well not Zack… he’s just plain mess. Nice Lexi ❤️
it’s a tough watch Ty, really.
Tough watch is right.