The Real Housewives of Miami Season 7 Premiere Recap. Miami: “Miami is On on on on Fyah!” The new season premiered last night on Bravo and is promising to heat up fast!
π₯ Miami Heat: Season 7 Starts with a Bang (and a Divorce)
We kick things off with an emotional Alexia and Todd highlight reel, right before the bomb drops: theyβre getting divorced. Yup. Alexia claims she came home one night to an empty apartment, Frankie traumatized, and Todd gone. Cold. She even tells Marysol she thinks Todd had this all planned from the beginning. And then boom…her attorney calls. Todd filed.
To top it off? She is literally on the phone with Teresa Giudice. That tracks.
π¬ βAdriana Was Rightβ
As Alexia breaks the news to the group, Larsa jabs, βThis is her third marriage,β and Lisa claps back with a spicy: βI guess Adriana was right.β Ouch. And Adriana isnβt doneβshe says now βa lot of things make sense.β Yikes. Still, the ladies rally around Alexiaβ¦ for now.
β© Fast-Forward 5 Monthsβ¦
And weβre back in the chaos.
β’ Marysol is worried Lisa might get back with Lenny (which, no maβam).
β’ Alexia drops a bomb: sheβs seeing Todd again!
⒠Lisa jokes that Lenny wants her back⦠SIKE! Just a joke. (We think.)
Oh, and Larsa Pippen and Marcus Jordan? Dunzo. The breakup didnβt go down quietly either. Larsa says her kids thought Marcus wasnβt right for her (ouch), and Marcusβs social media shade has been childish at best.
π± Friendship Fallout: Larsa vs Lisa
Things spiral fast. Turns out Lisaβs BF Jody was hanging out with Marcus, and Larsaβs mad Lisa didnβt control it. Lisaβs drunk, doesnβt remember Larsaβs texts, and honestly, itβs not looking great for their friendship.
β’ Larsa: βSheβs always drunk and stupid and sheβs a bitch.β
β’ Lisa: βThe whole world knows who you are.β
π This. Is. Bravo.
π Breakups, Babies & Birthday Drama
We also learn:
β’ Julia Lemigova and Martina Navratilova are welcoming two baby boys!
β’ But Guerdy Abraira skipped the Zoom call for Julia’s baby announcement and Juliaβs now questioning their friendship.
β’ Adriana de Moura is dating a new French guy and says she likes her men like her coffee: French roast.
β’ Kiki Barth casually mentions her yacht plug comes from dating the head of the yacht club (ICONIC).
β’ Lisa Hochstein moved into a massive 6,000 sq ft home with Jody.
β’ Lisa also shares her father had a stroke and is on a ventilator. Serious prayers up.
Oh, and Jodyβs birthday party? Probably just for the cameras. It lookedβ¦ sad. And there was one awkward moment where Jody dismissed himself with a friend to go “feel the A/C” in another room. He’s a strange one.
π₯ Final Sip
This episode had it allβbreakups, reconciliations, baby bombshells, and a whole mess of miscommunication. Adrianaβs petty is back, Larsaβs feelings are valid, and Lisa needs to sober up and show up. And Alexia? Girl, if youβre going to take Todd back, own it.
Season 7 is already off to a hot, messy, absolutely Miami start. And I, for one, am living.
Let me know what you’re thinking about this season’s premiere! β¬οΈ
π«Ά
– Tyler
9 Responses
why were there numbers SOOOOO low? they are giving us everything. Those are dubai numbers. π
Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it. (βα΄ΝΛ¬α΄Ν)πππͺ
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This helped a lot for the live-stream. Spot on!
so much fun β€οΈβ¨π
RHOM π¦©β€οΈ
~π₯π©·β¨β€π«π₯~
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