The Real Housewives of London Season 1, Episode 9 – “Chelsea in Bloom, Friendships in Ruin” – Chelsea may be in bloom, but old wounds are in season as gossip, grudges, and group chaos take over.
This episode is where the simmering tea finally spills — and not a saucer in sight to catch it. What begins with talk of pancakes, pilates, and polite catch-ups soon descends into unexpected bills, soap launches, and one Belgravia bust-up so loud it could rattle the crockery at The Wolseley. The gloves are off, the shade is thick, and London’s most glamorous feud is officially boiling over.
☕ Crying, Catch-Ups & Castle Gossip
The episode kicks off across London — Nessie catching up with her sister, Panthea car-chatting with daughter Coco, and Juliet M in her kitchen preparing pancakes like a Chelsea brunch queen.
Juliet A, meanwhile, is busy unloading to her assistant about Amanda (of course she is), while Karen shares tears with her mum Thelma, who has been visiting after the heart-breaking loss of Karen’s sister. The pair discuss the Scotland trip, but it’s clearly more than gossip — Karen breaks down as Thelma comforts her, a rare quiet moment of warmth amid the chaos.
At Amanda’s elegant mews house, she FaceTimes her mum Janet. Turns out, Amanda was a rebellious teen but now the two are thick as thieves. After chatting about her latest date, Amanda tears up — “I have to stay strong and do things on my own,” she says. Janet, ever the mum, soothes her: “Never give up hope, darling.” Cue the violins — and possibly a puppy adoption.
💎 Barbie Energy at Bacchanalia
Over at Bacchanalia in Mayfair, Panthea arrives at her jewellery designer friend Queenie’s sparkly soirée — £70,000 necklaces dangling like baubles at Harrods. Nessie’s first to greet, then Amanda struts in. “Barbie!” Panthea announces. “CEO Barbie!” Amanda fires back. Perfection.
Karen arrives next, and Amanda genuinely checks in on her after her sister’s passing — one of the episode’s few touching moments. But sentiment fades fast when Panthea stirs the pot about Juliet M’s castle not being technically hers, and the now-infamous post-trip “extras” bill. Even Nessie struggles to defend it as the group agree it was, well… not the best hostess move.
🌸 Blooms, Bills & Breakdown at Cinquecento
At Cinquecento in Chelsea, Juliet M meets with florist Warren and Cinquecento owner (and friend!) Jacqui to plan this year’s Chelsea in Bloom display. Nessie joins, and the meeting soon turns from florals to feelings. When Nessie mentions Panthea’s gossip about the castle and “extras,” Juliet M breaks down in tears — “I’ve always been generous,” she sobs.
Nessie calls her “the most generous person I know,” but Juliet’ Ms had enough — calling Panthea “a bitch, a narcissist, and toxic.” The Chelsea in Bloom theme? Clearly “Petals & Passive Aggression.”
👠 Prom Shoes, Pilates & Forgiveness (Sort of)
Juliet A takes daughter Gigi prom-shoe shopping at René Caovilla — because naturally, nothing says “coming of age” like a bit of expensive bling. Between the sparkle and stilettos, Juliet A gets emotional about Gigi soon heading to university in the States.
Cue a FaceTime from Juliet M — who fills Juliet A in on the Bacchanalia billing chat. Juliet A rolls her eyes: “Honestly, we had the best time, and they’re moaning over £100?” She’s not wrong.
Over at The Landmark Hotel, Karen is directing a shoot for her new fashion line, when Amanda pops by. Karen mentions that she went to Pilates with Juliet A — and thought that Juliet A still has some tension / beef(!) with Amanda. Amanda insists she’s fine to see Juliet A again at Juliet M’s event. Spoiler: she’s not.
🍣 Sushi, Soap & #BillGate
Juliet M and husband Tiggy lunch with Nessie and her husband Remy at Danieru Sushi, toasting to calmer days (wishful thinking). Juliet M announces her upcoming event — a launch for her brand new 100% natural Go Coco laundry soap. At lunch Remi cheekily asks: “Which was more dramatic — the picnic or Scotland?” Spoiler: both.
Meanwhile, confessional chatter kicks up again about those pesky castle “extras.” Even Nessie admits she might’ve paid them if it were her. Trouble’s brewing like over-steeped Earl Grey.
Over in the city of London, Panthea skips Juliet M’s event entirely, accompanying husband Ed to his red robe fitting at Furniture Makers’ Hall before his Master Solicitors event. “I’d rather be here than at a soap launch,” she smirks in confessional. Priorities, darling.
🧼 Go Coco Chaos: The Soap Launch Meltdown
At Juliet M’s Go Coco launch, the ladies arrive one by one — Karen, then Nessie, then a frosty Juliet A, and finally Amanda. It’s the first time the pair have seen each other since Scotland, and you can feel the tension through the flute glasses.
#BillGate resurfaces — Amanda insisting that £150 means nothing, says that charging it just makes Juliet M look tight. Juliet M gives her speech, but the smiles are strained. Later on, as both Juliet M and Juliet A chat, Amanda turns up and offer to meet up with Juliet A: “Let’s meet tomorrow, find some common ground.” Juliet A, ever the optimist, agrees. Foolishly, perhaps.
🥊 The Belgravia Blow-Up
The next day at Morena, Belgravia, Juliet A sits waiting — and waiting — until Amanda saunters in an hour and six minutes late. “Full clinic this morning,” Amanda shrugs. Juliet A, unimpressed, fires back that she’s just as busy.
They start civilly enough — chatting motherhood, friendship — until Amanda brings up the “white witch” comment. Then it descends fast.
“You’re jealous of me — my daughter, my business, my home!” Amanda snaps.
Juliet A fires back: “Self-made? Please, your money came from your ex-husband!”
From there, it’s pure chaos — the two talking over each other, hurling jabs about wealth, postcode and pride until it’s basically The Real Housewives of White Noise.
Juliet A stands to leave. Amanda spits: “Get out of my neighbourhood and back to your swamp!” then chants, “Back to Paddington!” on repeat.
Juliet A screams, “Get the f*** away from me!”
Roll credits. Bravo, indeed.
– Joanne 👑
