The Real Housewives of Miami Season 7 Episode 9 Recap: Preppy Pettiness.

The Real Housewives of Miami Season 7, Episode 9, it’s all about dog fights—both literal and metaphorical!

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🎀 Marysol’s Preppy Party Brings the Drama (and the Drama Queens)

Nothing says let’s pretend we’re over it like a “Preppy Party” hosted by Marysol, and let’s just say the only thing buttoned up was the dress code.

Stephanie confronted Alexia about their Chihuahua-vs-Rottweiler dogfight, and naturally, it escalated faster than Lisa’s ex-husband’s DMs. “You belittle people,” Stephanie said. “You bark,” Alexia clapped back. Girl, this isn’t Westminster Dog Show, it’s Miami, and these ladies bite.

Meanwhile, Guerdy brought a gift and emotional baggage. After being called out for allegedly saying the group was a “cult” (um, not exactly off-base), she tried to make amends. But when Marysol asked her if she wanted to be part of the group, Guerdy broke down.

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✈️ Jet Privileges or Power Play?

Stephanie’s private jet plans were supposed to be a sweet gesture, but let’s be honest…this was Survivor: Miami Airspace. Three lucky ladies could fly from Miami to Seville in style, and the scramble for seats gave us a new type of turbulence.

Marysol declined her invite, so Stephanie pivoted to Alexia. But when Alexia realized she’d have to leave Marysol behind? Hard pass. The final passenger list ended up being Julia, Larsa, and (drumroll) Adriana—after Kiki graciously bowed out like the queen she is. Adriana, however, was not feeling the “surprise invite.” Her beef? Julia didn’t even fight for her.

In Adriana’s world, true friendship means throwing hands for a seat on a PJ. Julia? She’s just trying to make it through a season without everyone hating her.

🐩 Adriana’s Dog Gets One Last… Adventure?

In what might be the weirdest B-plot to ever grace Bravo, Adriana dressed her poodle Basquiat in full designer gear for one final romp before his neutering. Yup. We got a Poochie in Prada. If you were wondering whether couture counts as foreplay in the canine world… apparently, it does.

Is it animal cruelty or just peak Adriana chaos? Either way, it was more emotionally coherent than half the group’s conversations this episode.

💸 Stephanie Shojaee: Alpha or Architect of Chaos?

Let’s talk about our newest agent of chaos: Stephanie. Her head-to-toe Thom Browne moment at the preppy party? Slay. But her social maneuvering? Questionable.

Between handing out jet invites like Willy Wonka’s golden tickets and pulling out stuffed dogs during confessionals, it’s giving extra. Stephanie doesn’t just want to join the group, she wants to own it. And while she’s not afraid to go toe-to-toe with Alexia (which we love), she’s also serving major “money buys power” energy.

You can’t just throw Birkins at Bravo veterans and expect loyalty, babe.

👩‍👩‍👧‍👦 Julia’s Family Woes + Friendship Fractures

Outside the glam, Julia opened up about her strained relationship with her daughters. Turns out, they’re still struggling to accept her and Martina’s adoption of two boys, and haven’t even met them yet.

It’s a vulnerable moment in a sea of superficiality, and it gave Julia a rare moment of authenticity. Meanwhile, her friendship with Adriana continues to sink like a poorly docked yacht. They hugged it out (again), but the cracks are obvious.

Even Julia and Guerdy tried to hit the reset button. After a tearful one-on-one, they agreed to move forward. But in Miami, truces expire faster than doggy passports

Guys, I’d love to know how you’re feeling about this season of The Real Housewives of Miami! Please, leave me some comments below 👇

🫶

– Tyler