The Real Housewives of London Season 1, Episode 3 – “Baggage Claim” – The ladies head to the Cotswolds with a Louis Vuitton trunk full of emotional baggage.
This week’s episode opens under a sunny Battersea Park sky, where Panthea and Amanda take Monty for walkies. Compliments are flying faster than pigeons in the park, with Amanda insisting “London’s all about layering.” Talk soon turns to Juliet M and the dinner fallout. Panthea admits her bark is worse than her bite, claiming she’s a “what you see is what you get” type, while Amanda makes it clear she’s not here for gossip. Panthea, of course, calls her gossipy chatter a “public service.” Only in London.
🫢 Amanda vs. Rumours
Amanda wastes no time shutting down whispers about her divorce. She insists she got her settlement fair and square and brands all speculation as lies. Panthea isn’t convinced, dropping in a dig that she’d heard people talk about Amanda’s “longest and widest legs in London” reputation. Amanda fires right back, calling it “slut shaming” and accusing Panthea of making things up like they do at boarding school. Still, Panthea labels Amanda an enigma and insists she wants to scratch beneath the surface. Careful what you wish for, darling.
🇯🇲 Karen’s Jamaican Roots
Next stop, Brixton — where Karen takes her daughter on a little cultural pilgrimage through the buzzing market stalls. They weave past crates piled high with mangos, plantain, bundles of callaloo and, of course, a few Jamaican football shirts fluttering proudly in the breeze. For Karen, it’s more than just shopping; it’s reconnecting. She says that while London is her home, Jamaica will always be her foundation. If she ever misses the taste of proper Jamaican cuisine, Brixton is her anchor — everything she craves is right here.
As she browses, Karen recalls memories of her grandfather, part of the Windrush generation. She wants her children to grow up with what she calls a “beautiful balance of both worlds.” It’s everyday shopping for dinner, yes, but it’s also passing on a heritage that’s deeply stitched into her family story.
👩🎤 Juliet M Finds Her Voice
In SW7, Juliet M is in full songbird mode with her vocal coach, Philip, who likens her ‘absolutely stunning’ voice to a Rolls Royce. Nessie pops in post-lesson, thrilled to see her friend reconnecting with her singing again. Juliet M confides she’s ready to move on from #TeethGate and set firmer boundaries. Nessie promptly invites all the ladies to the Cotswolds, which she and her husband own on a sprawling 2,500-acre estate. Shooting or fishing might be on the agenda, though Nessie quickly vetoes the idea of guns. Sensible.
💖 Beauty in Belgravia
Panthea heads to Neville Hair & Beauty with Glam-ma Shala, rollers in and Champagne ready. Between chat about facelifts and weight loss, Panthea reflects on her family’s escape from Iran in 1979, when the revolution forced her mother Shala — who once worked for the Queen of Iran, no less — to flee with her husband, children, and quite literally a single suitcase.
Panthea hasn’t seen her father since he chose to go back to Iran several years after they arrived in the UK. It’s raw, emotional, and a sobering reminder that not all these women’s stories are built on champagne towers and charity galas. Still, in true Housewives fashion, the gossip continues — as Juliet M’s name drifts into conversation. Shala urges Panthea to be diplomatic, but both giggle, fully aware that diplomacy went out the window ages ago.
🎉 New Year, New Drama
As the ladies are all at home getting ready for tonight’s festivities, Panthea arrives at Diba, a Persian restaurant in Chelsea. Alongside her is her longtime friend Affe — who she’s known since she was 17 — both buzzing to kick off Iranian New Year on a “good footing.”
Karen arrives and politely declines the Doogh drink offering, explaining she doesn’t do dairy. Amanda soon sweeps in with her friend Gena, revealing that she once had a Persian boyfriend as a teen and also has a Persian daughter. Gena chips in that although her and Juliet M go way back, she didn’t recognise her at Amanda’s event, Panthea makes a cheeky comment, “Yeah, because she’s done so much work!” prompting a collective “Oooh!” and laughter all around.
Soon the belly dancers move in, everyone gives it a go, hips swaying to the rhythm, as Panthea can’t help but comment that Karen’s moves are “a bit too much.”. Just as it was going all too well, Karen admits that during her last visit to Panthea’s house, Panthea behaved like a narcissist, with everything revolving around her. Panthea can’t help but reply with an angry “wow,” clearly taken aback.
🚁 Helicopters and High Tension
The ladies are excitedly packing for the Cotswolds. Karen, who juggles her suitcase and a chat with her daughter — including a few laughs about going shooting. Amanda casually drops that she’s hiring a helicopter to get there, which sends Karen into a mild panic. Karen’s daughter, ever practical, suggests packing the Bible!
Meanwhile, Nessie is already at her Cotswolds estate, preparing for the ladies’ arrival. Since some of her bedrooms are being renovated, she’s arranged for everyone to stay in a nearby luxury hotel — a touch of elegance for their short getaway.
At Edmiston London Heliport, Juliet M and Amanda arrive, with Amanda saying all she wants is to “chopper off to the Cotswolds and just reset and have a fun girlie time.” Gena arrives shortly after, followed by Panthea, who’s quietly hoping that Juliet M won’t come out with “more fake nonsense” during their trip.
Karen, however, is not so keen on the helicopter option, calling the ladies to declare that she’ll go by car instead. After her call, Panthea brings up Karen calling her a ‘narcissist’, prompting Juliet M to grin and say, “Well, she’s spot on.” Uh-oh — has the drama already kicked off before take off?
✨ High Society Meets High Drama
In the Cotswolds, Nessie is absolutely in her element, with countryside views and famous neighbours, It’s basically her happy place. Plus nothing says “country chic” like a helicopter swooping dramatically into her garden.
Panthea instantly falls for Nessie’s estate and delivers the first shade of the day: “I mean, these cakes must pay well!” Amanda, expecting to stay at Casa Nessie herself, wonders whether the place is quite “set up for guests of my calibre.” Ouch. Someone get this woman a throne.
Nessie then introduces her dear friend Sir Henry Elwes, Former Lord Lieutenant of Gloucester and right-hand man to the late Queen Elizabeth II. He takes them on a tour of the gardens, where Juliet M decides to climb one of the trees. Amanda warns her ‘Don’t go any higher!” while Panthea, of course, shouts, “Go higher, go higher!” Karen shouts out: “She’s an Aussie girl!” To which Panthea replies, “Yeah, when she’s not putting on her British accent!”
Inside, Nessie gives Panthea the grand tour. Amanda suggests Sir Henry could be her next husband, sealing it with a cheeky peck. Nessie tells Panthea, “This trip is about leaving the crap behind.” Panthea promises that she’s “zipping it tonight.” (We’ll believe it when we see it.). Back outside, Amanda, Gena, and Juliet M waste no time discussing Panthea’s zero filter and maximum drama — exactly what every girls’ trip needs.
🧀 Cheese Rolling and Welly Wanging
Cotswolds Day 1 properly kicks off as Panthea and Nessie emerge from the house, just in time for Karen to arrive, declaring she’s here to “enjoy the Cotswolds and have a beautiful time.” Nessie, however, reveals the first activity: the infamous Gloucestershire cheese rolling tradition! She quietly hopes this centuries-old sport will help roll out some of the passive-aggressive tension bubbling between the girls.
The cheese goes flying down the hill and chaos erupts. Juliet M and Panthea are neck-and-neck in hot pursuit until Panthea takes a dramatic tumble, leaving Juliet M to snatch victory. Ever the cheeky one, Juliet M smirks: “Clearly not up for the task… I mean, I could’ve stuck my foot out and tripped her!”
Just when they think it can’t get any sillier, Nessie unveils another local tradition, “Welly Wanging.” The ladies have three goes to hurl a Wellington boot as far down the hill as possible. Panthea confesses that she mishears a ‘welly wang’ as a “welly wank!” and laughs! Oh dear!!
👸 Lady vs. “Lady”
On the way to Nessie’s, Amanda and Karen revisit the “Panthea the narcissist” situation. Karen insists she likes Panthea’s directness, good fun and “good vibes” — but can’t stand how Panthea only asks about people when she’s fishing for gossip. (Classic Housewives behaviour, really.)
But of course, no Housewives ride is ever quiet. Karen calls Panthea out over a throwaway remark she made about her contact lenses. Panthea insists it was a compliment — “I loved your contact lenses!” — and is baffled why Karen thinks it was unladylike. Karen says being a lady isn’t just about being posh, that it’s about making people feel welcome. Panthea, in her confessional, isn’t having it: “What does Karen know about being a lady, sitting there with a big tattoo above her breast?”
Things escalate, as Panthea doubles down: “I am a lady.” Karen retorts: “So I’m not a lady?” Cue Panthea’s snappy reply: “You’ve become a lady now… maybe.” Oof. Waiting to greet them outside, poor Sir Henry is blissfully unaware of the storm brewing in the minibus. Panthea fires and tries to shade Karen’s background by claiming she “used to sell clothes.” Karen swiftly corrects her: “My mum sold clothes, not me. You don’t listen, you just create your own narrative.” And with that, Karen drops the mic: “Panthea, I’m done.”
At that exact moment, the bus doors open and the ladies step out into the Cotswolds night — with poor Sir Henry still waiting outside for a cheerful welcome… instead about to meet the fallout of a full-on Housewives showdown.
To be continued…
– Joanne 👑
3 Responses
Loving this show and these recaps. Thanks Jo!
🔥🫖/⚡️🫖
Loving this show! So glad I can watch it.